Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon
by CessieRose25
Summary: Part of my Astrid-Hiccup-role-reversal series. Gobber claims that his house was burned down by a dragon no one believes exists. Unwilling to let her mentor head on a dangerous quest to finish the beast once and for all alone, Astrid drags the gang into another adventure to find the legendary Boneknapper Dragon.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: Fire!**

For the first time in weeks, the village of Berk was a flurry of activity. Dragons filled the air, cried from Vikings sounded from below and a house on fire was the only bright light on the island still shining. Surprisingly enough, though, this wasn't a dragon raid. In fact, the Vikings of Berk and the dragons had been getting along well since the Battle of Helheim's Gate when the Red Death, the reason behind the raids, was killed. Back to the fire, a Monstrous Nightmare flew over carrying a cart full of water – riding the Monstrous Nightmare was Snotlout Jorgenson, who'd named his mount Hookfang, after a suggestion from one of his peers.

"The wind is shifting!" a man shouted. This was Stoick the Vast, the tribe's chief. "Fire Brigade, move in! Bring the Nadders in from the South!"

"I'm on it, Dad!" a teenager yelled back from a Deadly Nadder. This was Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, Stoick's son and also the most promising Viking teen on the island, in spite of his otherwise unintimidating appearance. His dragon was a female whom he'd named Stormfly – he figured the name suited her. Hiccup, like his cousin, Snotlout, dumped a load of water onto the roof of the burning house. Stoick was still yelling orders from the ground.

"Gronkles, aim from the West!" he ordered. Fishlegs Ingerman and his Gronkle, Meatlug, flew over, also dumping a load of water on the house. It wasn't that long until most of the fire had been quenched. "Well done! Just a few more hot spots left!"

"Got it!" a Viking from the ground shouted, racing over to help. Meanwhile, a jet black dragon sporting a bright red tail fin had landed next to Stoick – it was the Night Fury, Toothless, and his rider, Astrid Hofferson, a strikingly attractive Viking teenager who, until recently, had been the bane of everyone's existence. It was thanks to her that the Red Death had been destroyed and the war between Vikings and dragons ended, even if it cost her the lower part of her left leg, which was now replaced with spring-loaded prosthetic of her own design.

"Stoick!" she yelped, dismounting her dragon. "Where's Gobber? Is he still inside?" Gobber the Belch was Astrid's, and the other teens', mentor and also the one who had made her leg – it was his house that was up in flames. Stoick shook his head.

"No – we can't find him," he explained.

"I'm right here!" Gobber snapped some distance away. He was in the forge packing a cart of some kind. "That beast will pay for this!"

"Gobber, what happened?" Stoick asked.

"What's it look like?" Gobber huffed. "A dragon set my home on fire!" The teens, knowing the dragons a heck of a lot more than the adults, blinked with surprise. "You've pushed me too far this time, you flying bag of bones!" Gobber shouted to the air. Astrid frowned.

"Stoick, what's he talking about?" she asked as Stoick sighed. "Our dragons don't do that anymore."

"He doesn't mean it, Astrid," Stoick replied. "Gobber, for the last time, there is no such thing as a..."

"Boneknapper!" Gobber interrupted. The whole village, excluding the teens, groaned almost simultaneously.

"Uh...what-napper?" Tuffnut Thorston, one of the twins, repeated.

"Disgusting foul beast," Gobber explained. "Wearing a coat of stolen bones like a giant flying skeleton!" Fishlegs was obviously the only other Viking to be informed of such a dragon because he became quite excited.

"Oh!" he squeaked. "The Dragon Manual says that the Boneknapper will stop at nothing to find the perfect bone to complete its armour. It's awesome!" Clearly Stoick thought otherwise.

"Come on!" he cried. "It's a myth! It doesn't even exist!" he added, laughing.

"I'm telling you – it's real!" Gobber argued. "I've been running from him my whole life. He's the one who started this fire!"

"Stoick!" Spitelout called. "We found Gobber's underpants hanging by the stove – they must have started the fire." The village laughed.

"You still think it's the Boneknapper?" Stoick chuckled to Gobber. "Or just your underpants?"

"I don't think – I know!" Gobber shouted. "Somehow he found me again – this dragon is pure evil."

"Gobber," Stoick sighed. "It's late and we're too tired for your stories. Get some rest."

"You rest!" Gobber snapped. "I'm putting an end to this." He picked up his cart and walked down to the docks, calling his sheep, Phil, along the way. Astrid watched as her mentor walked down to the ships – she didn't know why but she just felt the need for an adventure.

"I can't let him go by himself," she sighed before turning to her friends. "Alright, Vikings," she grinned. "Grab your shields!"

"Yes!" Hiccup, the twins and Fishlegs cheered.

"There is no way I'm getting on a boat to go after a fake dragon," Snotlout sneered.

* * *

**AN: Okay, this is something that was requested by a reader and, seeing as I've had this on my computer for a while, I thought I'd post something whilst I get the chapters of my other projects done. Oh, and HTTYD 2... WHY, DREAMWORKS? WHY? Sorry, needed to recover my feels after seeing that movie.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Shipwrecked**

The next morning, all of the teens, including Snotlout, were on a boat in the middle of the ocean with Gobber.

"Come on! Put your backs into it, you lazy dogs!" Gobber shouted as the teens pulled hard on the oars. "Stroke! You're not even trying! Stroke!"

"How fun is this?" Astrid laughed weakly, forcing a smile. "Right? We got the team back together, another adventure...yeah, this is pretty cool, huh?" she added, ignoring a sideways glare that Hiccup had given her and indicating the oar she was using.

"Yep – nothing cooler than rowing until your hands bleed," Snotlout sneered behind her. Astrid sagged – man, one day, those punching lessons Hiccup had been giving her were _so_ gonna come in handy. Still, he had a point – her hands were killing her.

"I just want you kids to know that it touched my heart, you helping me slay the Boneknapper," Gobber gulped. "True Vikings, you are." Ruffnut, closer to the back of the boat, was getting tired.

"Gobber, are we there yet?" she groaned, her arms aching to Valhalla.

"Oh, you'll know we're close when your ears explode from the piercing screams!" Fishlegs muttered next to her. "Legend says that this dragon's roar is so fierce, it can melt the flesh right off your bones!"

"Not so, Fishlegs," Gobber corrected. "The Boneknapper has no roar at all. That's why he's terrifying. He is a silent killer!" He had added a pause for effect, as usual.

"Wait," Ruffnut frowned. "So, if we don't hear anything, we're dead?" Everyone stopped rowing to listen. It was deadly silent. Tuffnut leaned into the aisle of the boat.

"I don't hear anything!" he whispered. Then...

"BAAH!"

"AHH!" the teens screamed, jolting forward. Turns out, it was just Gobber's sheep. Gobber wasn't helping – he was too busy laughing his head off.

"Good one, Phil!" he chuckled. When he calmed down, he continued. "Did I ever tell you about the time I first met the dreaded Boneknapper?"

_I was a young lad – about your age – on summer vacation with my family when I heard the call of nature._

_"__Dad!"_

_"__Didn't I tell you to go before we left?"_

_I saw an army of Vikings, frozen in battle. Clutched in the fingers of one of the Vikings was a small treasure chest. I had to have it. I reached in and pulled out the chest – it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw! But the frozen Viking was alive! He started punching me in the face!_

_"__My tooth!"_

_And there it was – I never even heard it coming – the Boneknapper! It crashed into the glacier, causing an avalanche of frozen Vikings._

_"__The treasure!"_

_I reached into the water, only to find the frozen Viking punching me in the face again! The Boneknapper wanted that treasure, but I wanted it more._

_"__What took you so long?"_

Gobber finished the story chuckling. The teens were...less than impressed.

"You expect us to believe that a frozen Viking punched you in the face?" Snotlout smirked.

"Yeah – twice!" Gobber grinned. Astrid grimaced - she hated having to be the peacemaker sometimes.

"Hey, it could happen," she shrugged, although she highly doubted it. Hiccup groaned next to her – his girlfriend/fiancée was weird sometimes.

"Remind me _why_ we're engaged again?" he huffed. Astrid shot him a small glare which he ignored.

"What do you mean, 'it could happen'?" Gobber leered. "It did! But I outsmarted the silent beast."

"Uh, Gobber," Fishlegs grimaced. "I hate to be a stickler for details but...Boneknappers are not silent."

"Fishlegs, I know what I didn't hear!" Gibber snapped. He began blathering about something or other but Fishleg's attention was more on the sea.

"Umm, guys?" he piped up. "Are there supposed to be...?" The rest of either person's speech was lost as they both tried to out-speak the other when suddenly...

_CRASH!_

The boat smashed into some rocks, taking everyone by surprise. Astrid fell off her seat whilst Tuffnut inspected the damage – they'd run aground.

"Whoa..." he grinned evilly. Hiccup shaking stood up and went to the side of the boat.

"Um, I'm tasting rocks..." he grimaced. Astrid was still trying to get to her feet as Gobber smirked.

"We're here," he said simply.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Gobber's Tales**

The ship sank before anyone could drag it to shore for repairs. Ruffnut stared at it hopelessly.

"Ugh!" she moaned. "Now we're stuck in the middle of nowhere! And no one even knows where we are!" Astrid was seriously kicking herself now and the looks her boyfriend/fiancé was giving her wasn't helping.

"Except the Boneknapper," Fishlegs corrected, holding up a bone. "Legend says its roar is..."

"Hey!" Snotlout snapped. "You know what legend also says? 'Stop talking'!"

"Okay, just hold on!" Fishlegs retorted. Thankfully, Gobber intervened before the fight got worse.

"No need to panic, kids!" he called. "I've been shipwrecked many times."

"Oh!" Astrid groaned. Knowing her mentor, any shipwreck advice would be next to useless, not that she ever let him know that. "That's...comforting."

"You never forget your first shipwreck," Gobber sighed happily, sitting down.

_I was stranded on an island with only my broom. It was a very small island – it was no wonder the Boneknapper found me again. He never forgave me for taking that treasure. There was another island – my only escape – but I was surrounded by bloodthirsty Hammerhead sharks! I only had one chance. So I ran across the shark-infested waters._

_"__Take that! Watch it! Make way, Sharky! Someone forgot to brush!"_

_I didn't think I was going to make it! But then, from the depths of the ocean leapt forth a giant Hammerhead whale!_

"Whoa!" Fishlegs blinked. Astrid and Hiccup were in front of him and their faces were less than believing. "And the Hammerhead whale ate the Boneknapper?" Astrid resisted the temptation to roll her eyes – it was Fishlegs who should be Gobber's apprentice, not her.

"Almost," Gobber replied. "But he got away. Years later, the dragon hunted me down again and chased me into the jungle."

_All I had was my trusty egg-beater. I carved through that thick jungle bush as fast as a jungle cat. Still, the Boneknapper was right behind._

_"__Oh – ophellias!"_

_I ran up the side of a volcano and courageously leapt across the firey crater! Then, deep within the burning volcano, burst forth a giant Hammerhead yak!_

"Okay, wait a minute," Tuffnut groaned. "Now you're saying a giant Hammerhead yak leapt out of the firey volcano and ate the Boneknapper?" he added, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You would've thought so, wouldn't you?" Gobber snorted. "But the dragon got away again! I knew that bony scoundrel would keep coming after me!"

_So, I set up a gauntlet of traps and waited for the beast. And when he was ready, he charged! And then I ran like the wind. But the traps failed! Then, captured, I did what any brave Viking would do._

_"__HELP!"_

_The gods must have heard my prayers – it was Thor! He tossed a mighty thunderbolt..._

_"__Oh! You missed!"_

_"__Wait for it..."_

_Then, from the centre of the Earth blasted forth the Hammerhead yak riding the Hammerhead whale!_

_"__Deploy the yak!"_

_"__Yes! Ooo – my back!"_

Gobber finished his tale – the teens were silent for about five seconds.

"Whoa!" Fishlegs blinked in awe. "The whale saluted you?" The other teens stared at him as if he was crazy.

"Can you believe it?" Gobber grinned. "But the Boneknapper got away again!"

Now things were just getting out of hand.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: The Boneknapper**

"Are you kidding?" Snotlout muttered. "I don't believe any of this!"

"Yeah!" Tuffnut agreed. "You totally made everything up!" The twins and Snotlout began talking over each other before Tuffnut cut in. "You don't even have any proof that thing exists!"

"Of course I have proof!" Gobber challenged. "I still have the treasure. This stunning belt buckle." He lifted his shirt to reveal a bone shaped buckle holding his trousers up. "I found it in the Viking's treasure chest. It's kept my pants up for years." Hiccup made a face and Astrid groaned.

"It is stunning," Fishlegs shrugged. Hiccup hit Astrid's back.

"You're the one who signed us up for this," he muttered. "You're getting us out of this." Astrid knew it was time to try to fix things.

"Uh, listen, Gobber," she grimaced. "Instead of chasing down an imaginary dragon maybe we should figure out how to get home."

"Say no more," Gobber replied. "I hear you loud and clear and I've got a plan." Astrid smiled slightly – that was the first good thing she'd heard all day. However..."Alright, who'd like to be dragon bait?" Gobber added, pointing at Fishlegs.

/\

A short time later, Fishlegs was 'disguised' poorly as Gobber and was standing under a large ribcage trap-type-thing.

"Uh, Gobber!" he shouted. "Are you sure this is safe?"

"Eh, safety's over rated," Gobber replied. He turned to the other teens. "Okay, here's the plan. The Boneknapper wants me, right? He comes down that trail..." He indicated with his hook. "...sees Fishlegs; thinks it's me; crushes Fishlegs..." Fishlegs yelped. "...causing Phil to trip that rope dropping that ribcage and we rush in and finish him off, once and for all!"

"It's sad when they get old," Snotlout whispered to the twins.

"Gobber, you're taking this way too far," Astrid groaned, with Hiccup nodding with agreement next to her. "Okay, you need to face it – there is no such thing as the Boneknapper!"

"Worms' squat!" Gobber shoved the comment off. "Now get into position." He turned back to Fishlegs as the others ducked behind a ridge. "Way to go, Fishlegs! You're doing fine!"

"No wonder the entire village thinks you're crazy!" Astrid huffed. Fishlegs spotted a shadow.

"Hello!" he called nervously.

"Hello? Sees dead Viking?" Snotlout joked.

"Yeah!" Tuffnut laughed. "Think about..."

"Um, guys?" Fishlegs called. The others weren't paying attention and were instead arguing amongst themselves. "Guy...guys!"

"WHAT?!" The others shouted back. Something rattled behind them.

"It's right behind us," Astrid sagged. "Isn't it?" The team looked back and upward to see a towering dragon completely made up of bones. It opened its mouth to roar but all that came out was a pitiful squeak.

"What do you know?" Fishlegs muttered. "No roar."

"Run!" Gobber yelled. The teenagers didn't need telling twice as the Boneknapper let off a stream of fire.

"Okay, Gobber!" Hiccup cried. "We believe you!" The dragon swept the ground with its tail, causing the group to crash into Fishlegs and that in turn caused Phil to trigger the trap. The ribcage fell on top of the group, leaving them with nowhere to run.

"PHIL!" Gobber cried, exasperated. The Boneknapper raced towards the ribcage – everyone was scared stiff. What now? The Boneknapper let off another burst of fire – thankfully the team managed to take cover behind the bones making up the ribcage before they got frazzled.

"Find a happy place! Find a happy place!" Snotlout muttered. Next to him, Hiccup sagged and rolled his eyes – there were times when he couldn't believe he was related to the guy by blood. The dragon tried to break into the ribcage but now she had a closer look (and ignoring Fishlegs cries for help) Astrid spotted a small gap in the armour right where the dragon's voice-box would be. The shape looked familiar. Glancing at Gobber, Astrid caught sight of his belt buckle. Of course!

"Wait!" she muttered. "It searches for the perfect bone to build its coat of armour!" A realisation hit Astrid. "The treasure! Gobber, take off your pants!"

"Huh?" Gobber frowned.

"NO!" the others shouted. Astrid wasn't finished.

"Wait – listen to me," she panted. "I think Fishlegs was right. The Boneknapper is supposed to have a roar but maybe he can't because the bone he needs is your belt buckle," she explained.

"Gobber, please!" Hiccup pleaded, catching on. "You have to give it back!"

"No way!" Gobber snapped. "It's mine." However, whilst everyone had been busy arguing, the Boneknapper had broken away one of the ribs and was able to grab Gobber's own prosthetic leg. The dragon pulled Gobber out of the ribcage and began tossing his around like a rag doll.

"Give him back his bone!" Astrid yelled. Gobber was still refusing. "GIVE HIM BACK HIS BONE!" Astrid shrieked.

"NO!" Gobber screamed back until the Boneknapper tossed him into the air "Oh, alright!" With that, the Viking tore off the belt buckle and threw it at the Boneknapper. It slotted into the gap perfectly and a glow emitted from the dragon's chest. Gobber landed some distance away and the teens gasped – was he alright? Gobber lifted his head above the pile of bones he'd fallen behind just as the Boneknapper let out a roar that could have been heard for miles. The dragon then rounded on Gobber, who had pretty much given up by now.

"Gobber!" Astrid cried. Gobber sighed.

"Alright, you got me," he groaned to the dragon. "Make it fast." But instead of eating the Viking, the Boneknapper nuzzled his fondly as if Gobber were an old friend, acting similarly to how Toothless acted around Astrid. Then Gobber's pants, now without the support of the buckle, fell down. "Uh..."

"Argh!" the teens groaned, looking away with embarrassment.

"This is gonna give me nightmares," Astrid groaned. Hiccup patted her back.

"Well, at least we have a ride home," he grinned, indicating the Boneknapper which Gobber was now tickling under the chin. Within minutes, everyone was mounted on the back of the boned dragon and flying back towards Berk.

"You know, I never doubted him," Snotlout smirked to Fishlegs. "I was always like, 'he's right'." Everyone was enjoying themselves, save Tuffnut, who'd been unlucky enough to be given the back seat.

"Urgh! This tail bone is hurting my tail bone!" he shouted. The Boneknapper roared, obviously enjoying its new found use of its voice box.

"He sure seems happy to have that bone back," Astrid smiled from behind her mentor.

"Well, legend says that the Boneknapper's roar is its mating call," Fishlegs shrugged.

"Oh, that's just a myth," Gobber grinned. Another roar reached their ears. "Uh-oh."

A whole flock of Boneknappers had arrived – Fishlegs had turned out to be right once again. Gobber chuckled as the Isle of Berk loomed into sight.

"I think Stoick will believe me now, eh?"

**The End**


End file.
